The life and times of a refugee motherby Eugene Birrer
Mary Alemetu, a refugee from Ethiopia, a single mother of three children, born in 1952, died on 26 February 1997, after a short illness. One of thousands of refugees dying in Africa every year. Not much reason to write about, one might think. Yet, Mary was an extraordinary refugee mother whom I got to know six years ago. At that time the Jesuit Refugee Service in Nairobi started an income-generating project for urban refugees. Mary wanted to open a small Ethiopian restaurant but didn't have the necessary resources. She earned her living by cooking for workers at construction sites. That was just enough to feed and shelter her three children. She applied for a loan to start her project. Some chairs, tables , a stove and cutlery was all that she needed for a start. She rented a two-roomed house and built a tukul (a round-shaped hut) in the garden which served as a restaurant. Mary was happy but only for a while. Some policemen discovered her restaurant and came there every weekend. They inquired about how much she had earned during the week and asked for their share. If she was not willing to give, they would close the restaurant as it was illegally situated, although she had an official license issued by the Government. She finally decided to move from that place. Some friends helped her to rebuild her restaurant in a 'safe' place and a good location. Her Ethiopian kitchen had an excellent reputation and everybody felt at home there. Among her regular clientele were expatriates and poor Ethiopian refugees. The latter were welcome, even if they could not pay. Many considered her as the mother of the Ethiopian refugee community in Nairobi. One day a delegation from the City Commission came and produced an eviction order. Mary should leave the place within 48 hours. The plot had seemingly been bought by an influential politician who wanted to develop it. Three days later they came and demolished the restaurant and small shops in the neighbourhood. Mary took a lawyer, had a court case and a few days later the City Commission had to rebuild her restaurant, at their own cost!
Cover police on site!In February 1996 she received an eviction letter from the City Commission again. Mary did not move. After a week, a truck- load of workers came and destroyed her restaurant. Mary came to JRS to ask for help. We recovered most of the furniture and the kitchen equipment and moved it to a safe place. She took a lawyer again, but this time without success. A few days later a huge bulldozer moved in, started excavation work on the plot. When I saw undercover policemen sitting on the excavation hills I said to Mary : "There is no future for you here. You have to find another place". She rented an old house in another location and continued to receive her traditional guests. In November 1996 she fell sick and the diagnosis was TB and HIV positive!In February 1997, she was readmitted in hospital and died on the 26th. Three days later a group of about three hundred people from all walks of life escorted her on her long journey to a public cemetery in Nairobi. I was invited to say a few words. " This is a sad day for us all", I said. "We have all lost a dear friend and an outstanding refugee mother, a real hero. Her life was a constant struggle. Yet today is a happy day for Mary Alemetu. Last Wednesday the Heavenly Father came to her and said: " Mary, I will take you home, you have suffered enough. I will give you a home that nobody can destroy and where there is eternal peace and joy". During the preparation of the funeral I called for Mary's file at the UNHCR office in Nairobi. There I found an article, published ten years earlier. An extraordinary story of which I was not aware until then. Mary grew up in Eritrea, never went to school, was working as a house maid with an Ethiopian politician. When she was 16 years old her employer asked her to accompany his family to a wedding in a remote village. They travelled for several hours, and Mary realized that they were in Sudan. She pleaded with her employer to be allowed to return to her family. "You know a lot about my family and for that reason you will never go back to Ethiopia lest you betray me," she was told. After a few months the family left Sudan and came to Nairobi in Kenya, where she was locked up and not allowed to leave. One night she escaped and met a night watchman named Elias. She asked him for the direction to the Ethiopian Embassy but instead he took her to his house in a slum area in Nairobi with promises that she would be taken to the Embassy later. She was instead taken to an up-country bus station where they travelled some 300 kilometers from Nairobi to Elias' home town. She was presented to Elias' parents who decided that the two should get married. Here she worked hard and raised money for her upkeep. Elias promised to take her to Ethiopia when they had earned enough. "This would take about three years," he reckoned. The modest income that Mary earned was spent mostly by Elias' father who was a drunkard. Meanwhile she became mother to two girls. One day they decided to return to Nairobi. Life in Nairobi was tough, especially with Elias' meager earning. Mary gave birth to a third girl. Elias started drinking like his father and squandered the meager income that Mary brought in from the sale of vegetables. Finally Mary decided to leave. That was in 1991, when I met her for the first time. During the last few weeks of her illness, she often came to our JRS Office because she was worried about the future of her three children. "Mary," I said, "don't worry. You have not earned much wealth in your life, but many friends who will take care of your children. At that time JRS had started a low-cost housing project for refugees and refugee workers in Kangemi, a township of Nairobi. Shortly after Mary's funeral we offered the three children and a guardian a new home there. Hanna the oldest of the three children is 17 years old, Muthoni 15, is the second, the youngest Habtam is 12. Hanna and Habtam continue with their schooling and are among the best in their classes. Muthoni eloped with a lover during Mary's illness. She came to Nairobi two days after Mary's funeral and was sent for a medical check-up which revealed that she was 5 months pregnant. JRS is now sponsoring her for a part-time dress-making course. Life goes on for the three of them. Among the refugees in Africa, there are "Mary Alemetus", single mothers with children whose main concern is the future of their children. Thanks to the support of many donor agencies across the world and many individual donors, JRS is able to accompany and comfort many of them. But the needs are always greater than the resources.
 A JOURNAL OF SOCIAL AND RELIGIOUS CONCERN Published Quarterly by DR. GERALD J. WANJOHI Likoni Lane - P .O. Box 32440 - Nairobi - Kenya Telephone: 720400 The Online publishing of WAJIBU is by Koinonia Media Centre. GO TO WAJIBU HOMEPAGE |